


Not a ghost

by Nuttelashake



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Guilt, Happy Ending, Hurt Peter Parker, Kidnapping, Mad Tony stark, Not Really Character Death, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Sad Peter Parker, Stabbing, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Worried Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-10-05 12:41:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17325194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nuttelashake/pseuds/Nuttelashake
Summary: Everyone kept acting like nothing has happened in those two months that meant everything to peter .Like nothing has happened and all of those beautiful memories were just peter's hallucinations.He didn't even know how it ended up like this .(Well...a fanfic in which Tony is ignoring peter because of some guilt stuff and it does NOT end well)





	1. How it all started

**Author's Note:**

> well...if any body is reading this ...hey guys . So this is my fanfiction and I hope you like it.And also sorry for the tags if they confused you I'm really bad at tagging .There are more tags to be added but since I have some doubts about how to continue this fic you have to wait a little .  
> Since I'm not native and I'm not good at English yet lot of grammars might be wrong .please let me know if it is anything wrong in comments.  
> Nuttelashake

It was two months after homecoming. Even tough Peter turned the chance to be an avenger down, he and Mr.stark had gotten pretty close. It all started with Peter going to the tower for his suit's upgrade. Happy would pick him up every time .Then he started to do some little projects in the lab, and then they started to help each other in lab.And sometimes they would order something between their work, and take a break to eat the food (and maybe they would watch a movie while they ate it). And that's how Peter ended up going to the tower every weekend and sometimes he even stayed there for the night. So yeah...Suddenly Peter looked at himself and realized that he was seeing Mr.stark as his father figure .Well...He never montioned it but deep down he knew that he wasn't afraid to say that he loved Mr.Stark as a father figure but ...it was so hard for Tony to admit that he really liked the kid as his own. So Peter didn't say athing about how he really felt 

Peter was getting used to see Happy outside of his school to pick him up. He even got Mr.Stark's personal number. And he was getting used to get replies from both Mr.stark and Happy.(And he was so damn glad about it ).And of course with his habit of getting into trouble, he was pretty used to see Mr.stark's worried face when he got hurt .

But this one was different. This time Mr.stark was in the car with Happy. He told Peter they were gonna eat something in a restaurant .And even though he was spending most of his time with Mr.stark, he couldn't help the excitement growing in his chest.

They were just supposed to eat lunch .But of course that's not what happened.

It all happened too fast. Peter was heading toward the door of the fancy restaurant after Mr.Stark when his spidey senses screamed at him and he paid more attention to his suurounding, and finally he saw a man behind them and just when Peter saw him, he pulled a gun out of his pocket and aimed it at Mr.Stark.

And time seemed to freeze for Peter. That was what happened to Ben .And Ben died.So he could see what was going to happen. The man was gonna fire the damn gun and Mr.stark was going to bleed out in his arm until he dies...unless he did something.  
So he he did that 'something'. Without hesitation he covered Mr.Stark's body with his. And he saw the man fire and heard the sound of bullet and felt the pain in his stomach.

Tony was smiling wildly. He was so glad to be here with (his) kid . Specially about "being with the kid part". He just entered the restaurant with Peter behind him when he heard the gunshot .And he jumped in surprise and heard another gunshot and turned back. It was a man with a gun in his hand aimed at him (The terrorist for sure ).One of his guardians had shot him right in the chest. At first the man looked at his wound in desbelif but then to Tony's surprise he looked right in Tony's eyes and then smiled proudly. Tony guessed tjhe man was insane .Beside the whole shooting thing he couldn't reach his goal.He couldn't hurt any of them. And they were both okay ...They were okay ,right?

His heart started to pound loudly as Peter slowly turned back to see him and he didn't know why he couldn't breatb as Peter's confused and scared gaze find Tony's concern ones.Then he said with a cracked voice :"Mis...Mister st'rk?"

Tony's heart sank.Peter slowly looked at his stomach and Tony did the same .And suddenly Tony found it very hard to stand straight. No....Tony told himself...no..nonononono ...It can't be happening ...Tony thought of every way that this wasn't really happening. He was asleep and it was just a nightmare and he ws gonna wake up soon and Peter was gonna be alright ,without any hole in his stomach. Or maybe Tony was worried about Peter so he was hallucinating that Peter was shot in his panic attack but his panic was gonna end and Peter would be the one to calm and comfort him after his attack .The whole and FINE and happy Peter. Or maybe it was just a prank that p Peter has planned and soon he was gonna roar with laughter and then apologize him for the heart attack he was giving to Tony....And no matter how impossible all of that was he wanted to believe them .He wanted to believe everything that denied the hole in peter's stomach and the blood on Peter's hand .But after all the hole was there and there was blood dripping from Peter's body.

Tony came out of his crazy mind when suddenly Peter fell to the ground . Tony quickly kneed beside him.

"Mister st..mister St'rk...I..I...he was gonna..you were ....I..."

But he couldn't continue anymore as the blood came out of his mouth .Tony came to work .He pulled his jacket out and put it on Peter's wound and pushed it hard which made Peter moan in pain but he trie to ignore it .He had to put pressure on the wound .He then told FRIDAY to call Bruce and tell him to prepare the medbay .

And that was when Peter looked at him and whispered  
"I'm sorry". With that he closed his eyes slowly,turning a deaf ear to all of Tony's screams.

 

Well....since Peter and Tony had gotten really close and since Tony looked really worried about Peter when he was shot, Peter really accepted to see Tony when he woke up in the medbay .But Tony wasn't there .Bruce was there though .Peter and Bruce had met each other after the homecoming event so peter was glad to see him .But he needed Tony the most. When two days passed and Tony didn't come, he asked Bruce about him .Maybe the man didn't die back there and did something to Tony. And that was when Happy and Bruce explained that Tony and Peter couldn't see each other for a while.peter asked them why and they told him after the thing that has happened it was for their safety. It really didn't make any sense to Peter. couldn't Tony visit him just once?and they were in the tower so nothing could happen. couldn't Tony at least call him?he thought that this situation would end soon so he didn't push it and he spent most of his time with May .(he was really glad that may didn't killed him after surviving cause she looked like she was gonna die from worry)

But Tony never visited him and he got back to his home. He kept texting and calling Mr.Stark and Happy but Tony skipped most of his calls and it was driving Peter crazy.  
He reviewed all of his actions little by little in the week that he was shot to find what he had done to piss Mr.stark off. But he couldn't find anything. And soon he stopped trying to reach Mr.stark cause no matter how much he tried Tony kept on ignoring him and that made peter hate himself and the whole world. After two times of losing fathers he found someone that he loved as his dad and he messed it up and he even didn't know how he did it.

And soon everything went back to what they were like before homecoming. Peter kept on texting Happy and Happy would reply him in the way that made him feel like just that annoying kid that he was to Happy before all of this and Mr.stark just became that exciting impossible idol that seeing him was a dream. Everyone kept acting like nothing has happened in those two months that meant everything to Peter like nothing has happened and all of those beautiful memories were just Peter's hallucination.

He didn't even know how it ended up like this 

 

Happy entered the lab. He stood beside Tony's chair for a minute or so...and then said :"The kid won't stop texting me.he wants to know why aren't you in touch with him any more. He wants to know if you're okay or not "

Tony breathed heavily as he pretended to be focused on the reports in his hands"Well...let him know I'm busy for him now..And that I'm fine..."

Happy stared at him for some time and then started to leave while saying:"Well...but you are neither of them"

Tony waited until Happy left then he let out a shaky breath as he put his head between his hands. No... he really wasn't either of them.

From the moment Peter woke up after being shot, Tony ran away from him. So he just went to lab and locked himself in there. He didn't really work.And it wasn't like he didn't want to, He just couldn't. He just stared at the wall for hours and thought as his head kept on bringing back the image of Peter laying in his arms. Blood dripping from his hand and lips and stomach as he slowly closed his eyes. He saw the footage. Peter has covered Tony's body so Tony wouldn't get hurt. He was shot in order to save Tony. It was all Tony's fault .He hurt his kid...but he wasn't gonna let that happen again...ever

He was Tony stark and always in danger of this kind of situations so he couldn't keep his kid safe if peter was gonna sacrifice himself for Tony every time . He couldn't keep the kid anywhere around him again. He had to keep Peter as far as possible so he would be safe.

And He would. No matter what it takes


	2. Unfair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short Tony in this episode .most of this one is about May and Peter .(Because I love May)

 

Peter hated himself.He hated himself so much for being blind for this long.He hated himself for being happy that morning .He hated how he was laughing with Ned about some ridiculous thing .But the laughter didn't last long .The happiness faded away when he arrived at home .when he put his key in the lock and tried to open the door ,everything was fine before that .But before he could open the door he heard it .He heard May crying .And by the time he did he could feel his heart break by his aunt's sobs.He heard another female voice saying beautiful things , trying to comfort her .one of the women from neighborhoods. He felt so helpless.May didn't cay easily so something bad must has happened .He wanted nothing more than to open the door to go and hug her aunt and ask her what has happened .But he couldn't because of what he heard after that .Because of what he heard between her aunt's broken sobs which made him want to cry.

"They fired me....They just fired ...fired me ...I can't believe it .After all this years ....I can't believe it .How am I supposed to feed peter now? I've ...already put him through a hard situation he ...oh my god.he doesn't deserve this life ...."

And that was what hurt the most.That's what made peter hate himself the most .May thought that Peter was having a hard time.May blamed herself for Peter's childish needs .May blamed herself because of Peter .For what wasn't even her responsibility .And while she was crying her eyes out for Peter ...while she was trying her best to find money to feed Peter ...Peter was just having fun .That was so unfair .And Peter hated himself for that .He felt so goddamn useless .Maybe Mr.stark saw how useless he was and that was the reason he didn't want to see Peter any more.Maybe he didn't think Peter could be a good hero...or a good mentee and he couldn't put up with Peter's problems.Mr.stark was the first to understand and he left .Then May would realize that Peter was just a burden and she would leave him too....God what if May leave him ?He couldn't handle that .But Maybe it was better for May if she left him.He just kept on hurting people he lived ....like Ben .

Peter got out of the apartment and waited for their neighbor to leave and then entered again.

Peter didn't want to be like that.  
That's why his patrol take long that night .That's why he stayed up late that night to study .Because they were his only responsibilities and he had to do them well .It was the least thing he could do  
or maybe not ....

And that was why he started looking for a job next morning .

 

 

Peter threw himself on his bed .He found a restaurant that morning that needed a waiter .He was really optimistic and thought that it was a good sign that he found a job in the first day of looking for it .But the owner (which was really a grouchy Peter's mind )didn't hire him.well ...come to think of it ...he was kinda right .He didn't has his parent's permission and He was just a 16 year old that was trying to find a job alone.He couldn't help but just the moment after the owner rejected him and he exited the restaurant he unlocked hid phone to call Mr.stark and tell him everything.Even though they haven't been in touch for almost three weeks still sometimes he forgot about that and just wanted to go to tower and talk to Mr.stark.Like that morning .He just needed Tony so much .Before the gunshot event Mr.stark used to help him with everything and comfort him when he was sad .In the way back to his home he imagined what Mr.stark would have told him if they were still like before .Since it was Saturday He would have called Mr.stark and then go to tower .Then Peter would have told him about being rejected while trying his best to hide his sadness and disappointment and act normal . Then Mr.stark would say "well...They would have regret rejecting you if they really knew you"

Peter would consider it as the best way to show himself cool and happy so he would have laughed.But of course it wasn't going to fool Mr.stark and Mr.stark would stare at him for some seconds and then make Peter look him in the eyes and say something about how amazing he thought Peter was and find a way to comfort Peter without making him uncomfortable and then that Peter was back to his normal happy self again Mr.stark would find something to teas peter about to make him laugh and Peter would have teased back and then Mr.stark was gonna make a face and complain about how rude this generation's teenagers were and then.....

Peter stopped himself there because no matter how sweet all of this imaginations were for Peter they were still his imaginations and would never come true.Not after Peter made Mr.stark run away from him.And all the thoughts came back again .Every time peter thought about Mr.stark it ended up with Peter thinking of the ways that would have make their relationship stay like it was.

Maybe if Peter didn't talk that much ...maybe if he didn't go to tower every weekend and didn't stick to Mr.stark that much ...maybe if he didn't tease Mr.stark back ...maybe if he didn't cry in Tony's shoulder after being bullied and stopped being so weak....then Mr.stark would have stayed .He knew it was childish and he hated all of those thoughts .Because he had them about Ben too He always thought that if he was faster if he was braver and if he decided to be spider man sooner then Ben would have been alive right now ...and also his parents....And all those thoughts never make them come back.They were never gonna come back...so wasn't Mr.stark.And it actually made him freak out .

What if he really wasn't gonna see Mr.stark ever again?

He groaned as he hide his face in his pillow .He wasn't supposed to think of this things right now .He had more things to worry about.Like getting a job...not upsetting May...studying for his exams ...and saving Queen's little guys .Right .Queen's little guys Despite how much he wanted to just rest in his bed for the rest of his life he stood up slowly with the thought of patrol.Yeah.he messed a lot of things up but he wasn't going to let Queen's people down.He couldn't turn them down like he did for everyone else in his life .  
And he didn't need to be the weak selfless Peter Parker anymore .Spider man was strong .He could handle this.

 

Patrol was good that evening .Actually the only good thing of that day.Nothing really important though .Just stopping usual muggers and rubbers and helping old people and lost kids and saving a dog from being hit by the car.So when he was done with patrol he didn't went straight back to home.He just sat on the same rooftop that he usually sat on when he was texting Happy.He was going to text him again but then he looked at all the unread texts he sent to Happy every day.Now even Happy was ignoring him.So why should he bother to text him?He wasn't gonna get an answer anyway .He sighed .It was like the ones that were turning into his family couldn't see him anymore .He felt like a damn ghost .Peter was lost in thought when suddenly Peter realized how silent it was .No one was in the street below him and just one car had passed away.No sound could be heard beside of the sound of the wind moving the leafs on the street...and also something else .something that Peter couldn't have heard without his super hearing .It was most likely a whisper. Saying:"you there ....spider man..?"Peter felt his heart miss a beat .The voice continued : "you know what you are spidey...?"

The voice stopped for a second and then continued again:"you are a ghosttt..."by the end of the sentence the voice joined the sound of wind and soon it disappeared .

Peter was shocked and scared .He was thinking about being a ghost and then he heard someone calling him a ghost.Was he going insane ?  
He sighed .Maybe he was more tired than he thought .He had to get more sleep .

 

Peter tried his best to smile as he entered the house.But even tough he did he couldn't hide his sadness from his aunt .But it wasn't really bad since his aunt wasn't in a good mood either and it was obvious that she was sad .But she tried to smile too,bad thing it didn't work.

"you don't look too good.has something happened at patrol?"

Peter shook his head and said "No.I'm fine ....umm...what about you ?you don't look your best either."

May's smile faded slowly .she said "Actually ..uhh......I have to tell you something ...uhh please sit honey "  
Peter sat uncertainly after May .

May took a deep breath and then sighed "Umm ...well...things hasn't really been the best in my work recently ....uh ..and I had a....bad ..actually ...conversation with my manager ....and .."

Peter hated how nervous and embarrassed his aunt looked .He didn't want to give her any more stress about how she is gonna explain this to Peter .  
May opened her mouth to continue but Peter cut her off"May ...hey May ...uhh..It's okay...I-I already know ..."

My looked at her with both -confused and surprised eyes "what do you mean ?...you ...you know ?...I mean --how do you ..?"

"May .."Peter said as he took may's hand "It's okay ..I just heard you talking about it "

May stared at him and then sighed and looked down to her laps .Peter could see the tears finding their way in her eyes and he felt his heart break.He hated himself .If he had just kept his ass off her life .She and Ben would have been happy now .Without a damn stupid enhanced kid to worry about .Before he could think of all of the problem he has made for May and Ben his heart broke even more(if possible)by hearing may's weak and sad whisper "I'm sorry honey..."and then she couldn't take it any more and she broke down .Peter immediately got himself closer to his aunt in the sofa and put her in an embrace .He let her aunt sob in his shoulder and it made him want to cry too.They stayed like that for a while and when she calmed a little he whispered in her ear"May ...It's okay ....It's not your fault ...you did your best ...just as a you always do ....you don't need to be sorry ...You deserve a lot better ....you are a great aunt ....actually you're the best ...."

Then he pulled her out of the embrace and looked at her red eyes and said "you're the best MOM ."

And it made her smile .And that made Peter feel a little better .It was weird because it was usually May who comforted him but now....May broke rarely and that means it has been so hard for her that made her sob like that.

He didn't say the things that was in his mind tough .((I'm the one who need to apologize .I'm sorry I ruined your life .I don't deserve your love .I'm not worth it .I'm sorry ))  
He pushed all that thoughts away .He couldn't help May with acting like this .And May needed help right now .so he stood up and said "You go rest a little .I'm going to buy something for you so I can cook dinner "

May was about to refuse but Peter didn't let her "May ...you haven't rest in a while because of your job and with your ability I'm sure you can find a new job soon so it's the best chance to take it easy on yourself so ...just,,,just go and rest ...okay? let me take this one ."

May stared at him and nodded .He didn't see the pride look on May's face when he left.

When he got back May was asleep .Peter smiled at her sleeping form for some time and then smiled sadly.She was the best mom in the world .she didn't deserve to deal with all of this .He covered her body with a blanket and then turn the lights off.He made a spaghetti that night.when it was ready he looked at the clock and decided that it was a good time to go outside and walk .He usually didn't do it but now he felt like his head was exploding and he needed some fresh air. and since tomorrow was Friday he didn't have to worry about school.He set the table for May so she could eat the food whenever she wanted to .Then he left a note for her on the table .

"Aunt May ..I went out side to walk .I'll be back soon ...don't worry about me and don't do anything .I made some spaghetti .It was my first time and I learned it from youtube(It was so hard .How do you manage to cook it that well)I guess it's gonna taste terrible so sorry ..Just relax today .Ned gave me a comedy movie .It's on my bed .watch it if you were in the mood .  
love you .bye "

By the time he was out He checked his phone and his chat with happy to see if Happy has sent him anything.

Nothing .

He remembered Ben's face as life slowly faded away from his eyes and he went limp in Peter's arms  
He remembered Tony's mad face after the ferry incident .  
"I wanted you to be better "  
He remembered his aunt's broken sob  
"I'm sorry ..."  
He saw a lightning and heard a thunder .with the first drop of rain his first tear fell.  
He felt so weak .

 

 

Tony was in the back seat of the car and Happy was driving him to some boring meeting that he begged Pepper to let him skip but achieved nothing after all .then FRIDAY told him that he had received an email from an unknown account .He looked at the way ahead and it was way too long to just seat and watch outside .so he checked his email.Then chuckled and told Happy"you know...the threatening emails used to be more fun ...I don't even know what this one means .."

"what does it says?"Happy asked him curiously.

Tony read out loud "I saw a close person to you today Mr.stark....He was a ghost.Better say good bye to him cause you're gonna miss him soon"

Happy narrowed his eyes and said "suspicious .."

"Bullshit"Tony corrected him.Then he rolled his eyes and said" FRIDAY delete it "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the second chapter  
> Hope you enjoyed it


	3. Job

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter is trying .He really is .But he is trying to ignore the fact that he can't do it alone.And it's breaking him.He doesn't know it himself tough .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry .Again Tony isn't in this chapter :(  
> But he is going to be in the next chapters.I promise  
> But I wrote this instead of sleeping so I hope you're gonna like it

Peter was kinda shocked .And maybe a little scared .It was Monday and he had just entered the school .He didn't really expected to be pushed away suddenly by one of the students.At first he thought that it was some bullying stuff .Peter looked at the one who pushed him.Peter knew him.What was his name ?Drake?Jack?oh right ..Jake .Jake was it .Tall and thin .Dark brown eyes and hair .He seemed like a good person to Peter and Peter has never seen him bully someone or laugh at people at school .He didn't think that he was a person like Flash.Peter opened his mouth to ask him what the hell he was doing but before he could complain Jake started.He said:"looking for a job?"

Okay may be Peter was wrong .Maybe Jake WAS a person like Flash .Okay ...Jake wasn't a member of Flash's gang .But Peter couldn't imagine why he would ask him something like that unless he wanted to make fun of him for being poor or ...Whatever ...Peter really wasn't in the mood of dealing with this kind of things .He had enough trouble and he didn't know if he was gonna get mad and start a fight or suddenly cry or run away if he had to watch the students laugh at him .Peter tried his best to look confused .He didn't know why it wasn't working .Well ...It wasn't like he couldn't lie ...Actually he could made good ones ...At least he could make good lies when it was about Spider man .

"wha...what are you talking about?"

"Saw you when you were asking the owner of the restaurant for a job for yourself"

Jake got straight to the point .He was honest .Maybe a little more than he had to be. With that Peter started to think of a way to deny it .Maybe he could say that Jake misunderstood him for someone else or he was just asking for a job for a friend or...But before he could find a good excuse Jake started to talk again.

"No need to worry ...I just wanted to say that if you still want a job...well....my father has a cafe and he is looking for someone...a waiter I mean ....I work there too...But he can't give you a lot of money so ..."

Yeah .Peter really wouldn't have imagined that was the reason Jake was asking him that question.Peter stared at him.Was he telling the truth ?well..why should he lie ?If it was for embarrassing him he could have done it by telling flash that Peter was looking for job. So Peter guessed he was telling the truth .Right now ,luck was acting like his childhood friend ,Between all of students The one had to see him who could give him a job. He thought for a moment .To be honest Peter knew that nobody else would give him a job.So now that he had a chance he wasn't going to let it go.

"can I see your father today ?"

 

 

Peter left the school with Jake that day .They went straight to the cafe .Jake was nice .So was his father .His father was actually super nice .They were so friendly(despite what Peter thought considering the way Jake asked him about the job)At first they drunk coffee with Mr.smith (Jake's father )and Jake .Mr.smith told him about the cafe .

"well...Actually it was her mother's cafe .She loved here so much.And she always hired the teenagers for this cafe .She wanted here to be a place which Teenagers can have fun together .Whether as waiters or as costumers .That's why she named here Cafe Teen And everything was going well .I had my own job as an employee in a company .And she was working here .Then she ...."

In this part Peter could recognize the tears in Mr.smith's eyes .Jake was looking at his laps so Peter couldn't see his face properly.  
Mr.smith continued ,struggling to control his tears "She ...she died ....and I..uh..."

Peter could see Mr.smith was having difficult time telling him the story so he said:"I'm sorry about it....umm...Mr.smith you don't need to talk about it if ..."

Mr.smith shook his head and continued "I wasn't in a good shape and couldn't work properly so...The company I was working for fired me ....and"

Peter thought it was so cruel .To fire a person who was mourning just because he couldn't work properly for a short time after his wife's death .But some people didn't care about other people's problems .They just wanted their money and advantage .

Peter looked at Jake .He hasn't moved from his position .He still looking at his laps .Peter smiled sadly .It must be so hard for him after his mother's death.And it must be a lot harder to be reminded of all of those memorize .He didn't even know why Mr.smith was relying on him and talking about this kinda things in their first meeting .He guessed he was just so friendly

Mr.smith tried to smile and continued "So I thought it was our turn to make here alive again and here we are ... so yeah ...we work here and every thing is going great "  
Peter looked at Mr.smith with unsure eyes .He trusted him and maybe Peter had to trust him too,and he felt like it wasn't fair to hear everything about the reason they were working here and not explain his own situation and expect to get a job without explication . So He started to talk "I...."

Mr.smith and Jake both looked at him suddenly .It made him nervous and he felt his breath shake and his voice break in the beginning of the sentence but he continued anyway"I...I lost my parents too...and the my uncle ...I lived with him and my aunt before his death....And...uh...he died "

"I'm sorry "Mr.smith whispered 

He closed his eyes at that moment.Images of his uncle -bloodied and still,laying in his arms eyes closing as his chest rise and then fell for the last time and didn't rise anymore -rushed through his mind .He opened his eyes and looked at Jake .After some seconds he talked again:  
"so...I ..I understand how it feels ....to lose someone close to you ..."

Jake smiled sadly at him .Peter now could see the tears in his eyes .He smiled too.And he continued again .This time looking at Mr.smith .

"And now it's just me and my aunt ...and ....she is having a hard time and I think I have to help her...That's why I'm looking for a job .but ..."

Peter was super nervous now .What if Mr.smith changed his mind about hiring him ?

"But my aunt doesn't know ....I haven't told her because I know how she would react .She won't let me because she think as a teenager I don't have to go through this and I know that it's not true.and I ...I..."

He didn't know what he was supposed to say anymore.He felt like he forgot how to speak .He sighed and took a deep breath .He had to do it .For May For May formayformayformay ....

And then the words came to his mind themselves "I just want to help her .I don't want her to deal with this alone .I want us to tackle this as a family ...together ..and I need this job...I can't leave her alone to manage everything "

Mr.smith stared at him for some time .Peter could see how unsure he was and that scared the shit out of him .Oh god he messed it up .He screwed this and now May needed to search the whole world for a job and finally find one and overwork herself so she won't get fired again or even not find one and they would get kicked out of the house for not paying the rent and May was gonna blame herself for that ...Or maybe she would understand how useless Peter was in this whole situation and she was gonna be disappointed on him and leave him and ....Mr,smith's words got him out of his mind and at first he couldn't trust his ears with what he was hearing "Fine...you can start your job from tomorrow .but since I can't pay you a lot you just have to work two hours a day "

Peter looked at him and then Jake with wide eyes .He couldn't believe it .He ...He did it ?He got the job?That easy ?Mr.stark would be proud of .....  
He closed his eyes.Not again .Mr.stark wasn't gonna be proud of him .He couldn't let this distract him right now .

He smiled wildly and immediately said :"Thank you...I am really really grateful .You don't know how much it means to me .Thanks "  
Mr.smith smiled back and said "Your welcome .But you have to go now .Sleep well tonight .You've got a lot to do tomorrow"

 

And that was how he got a job .When he left the cafe he was about to take a bus to get back to home when suddenly he heard someone calling for him.It was Jake .He turned back to see Jake running towards him.He had peter's phone in his hand.He said "Didn't you forget about something ?"

Peter took the phone and said"Thank you ..I forgo..."

But before he could finish his sentence Jake started to talk "Tell your aunt " Then he looked up and straight into Peter's eyes .He continued "Tell your aunt about this job"  
Peter really didn't want to talk about it so he shook his head and looked down.He cut it short "She won't let me work "

Jake didn't take his eyes away from Peter's .He said "Then make her "His eyes were so sure and when he said it, it looked like he was talking about drinking water .But it wasn't that easy .

"It's not that easy "

"Studying hard while working and dealing with stark intership isn't easy either .You did it tough"

Peter flinched after hearing the word "Stark "and immediately said "There's no Stark intership any more "  
He rose his head up "And they are different "

"It's hard .yeah a different kind of hard.But that's the right thing to do .And you have to do it .Cause I don't think that you are someone to try and find the easiest way for everything without thinking about the price you have to pay later .....You said you wanted to do this as a family .You can't be a family if you hide things from each other .You said you didn't want her to deal with it alone .But you are trying to deal with it alone yourself ....you ...you ..."

Jake sighed and stopped for a moment and looked down ,breaking the eye contact for the first time "You've got a family .You have a great Aunt and I can tell you love her so much and she loves you back.She trusts you .You can't let her down .You have to explain this to her .You have to make her understand and let you help her "

Peter didn't know why it was tears in Jake's eyes again , he realized it soon,though.

Jake teared his gaze away from peter's eyes once again.He swallowed down his saliva and said "I had a fight with my mother .I hide something stupid from her and she got mad."  
Jake was deep in his thoughts .It was like he was in another world,like he was in the past and he could see what happened in his mind .

"She told me that she didn't want me to be like that ,She told me I broke her trust .And then she left .And never came back again"  
Jake looked up again and let his tear slide down his face and drop to the ground .

"She died and those were her last words .So you have no idea ...You don't ....You don't know what will happen in the future "

Peter looked at him for a minuet and the nodded slowly .They stayed silent for a while and then Peter whispered "I'm sorry about your mom"

Jake started to move and said "well ...yeah ...and I'm sorry about your parents ...and uncle...and the situation you are in ....uhhh....I think I need to go now "

"okay bye "

With that Jake left and Peter sighed .What Jake told him really impressed him.Maybe he was right .He had to try .He had to do it for may ....and him ....he had to do it for their family .

He stopped for a minuet and his heart sank .He could have sworn he heard someone saying it again.Just like the last time.But it was silent now . .He shook his head .He really needed more sleep.He pretended that he didn't hear the voice saying "Ghostttttt.........."

 

Peter was outside of Ned's house .He hadn't told May anything yet .She wasn't home when Peter got there .so he went to patrol.After patrol he got a text from Ned telling him that MJ had came over and asked him to join them in Ned's house .At first he wanted to refuse .He was really tired and had to get some sleep.But then again he thought that he wasn't going to get the chance to spend time with his friend after school a lot after that because of the job.So he decided that it was the best for him to use this opportunity.So here he was .Waiting for Ned to open the door .Which his friend did soon.

Ned opened the door and smiled wildly at his friend "Hey dude ...how are you doing ?...oh no don't answer ...we don't have much time .MJ said she is gonna leave soon if she gets bored "

Peter heard MJ's voice from inside ,saying "Tell the loser to hurry and come inside or I'm going to get my ass out of here soon "

Ned shouted back"But which loser do you mean ?"

"Which loser needs to get inside right now ? idiot "

"oh "

Peter entered the house and saw MJ sitting in one of the couches .MJ looked at him and smiled a little .

"Hey loser "

"Hey MJ "

Peter narrowed his eyes at MJ and looked at her curiously while sitting next to her .MJ looked at him with her deadpanned face and said "What ?..What is that face for ..?"

Peter looked at Ned who was getting out of kitchen with a handful of chocolates in his hands .Then slowly shrugged while saying "Uh...Nothing ...It's just I was wondering ...you .."Then pointed at MJ and continued "As the scary MJ...in house of someone you call a loser ...Well...and before I got here you were alone ..."Peter stopped for a moment and looked at Ned and then back at MJ and the tightened his eyes and asked "What were you doing ?...Huh ?"MJ rolled his eyes and Peter kept on talking "I mean I'm your best friend ...you can rely on me ...Actually I'm gonna be sad if you're hiding this from me..."MJ interrupted "Cut the crap Parker ..not funny .... like at all"And then stopped for a moment and then continued "And even if it was I wasn't gonna let you know ...No way in hell...Over my dead body .."

Peter said "So there IS something and you are hiding it from me .OH..How dare ...I'm hurt "

"Shut it loser ....The only thing I can do wuth the other loser is to laugh at him"

Ned stepped in and pretended to make a serious face and said "Actually ...we wanted to tell you that we just started dating and...."Ned stopped when MJ threw a pillow at him and said"You know ...You two were two dorks with sense of humor and now you are two dorks without that and I don't even know what makes you feel so funny"

MJ looked at him after that and this time she was serious .She said "So...loser ...I just wanted to ask ..uh...you've been acting weird these days ....has something happened?"

In this time Peter froze.Ned has gotten out of his fun mode and was now looking at him worriedly .Peter forced himself to make a fake smile and say "Nope...everything is fine "

MJ narrowed her eyes at Peter and looked at him uncertainly for a second but decided to let it go.Ned did the same ,Then Ned started to tease MJ again.  
Peter watched as Ned said something that made MJ throw another pillow at him but she chuckled slowly after that .

He thought about what Jake told him .MJ and Ned were his friends and they trusted him .He wasn't gonna let that change .So he suddenly said"Actually....something has happened ."

His friends -who were fighting over a chocolate -suddenly turned back to look at him and they both went serious again.Ned's eyes widened suddenly and he asked with a concerned voice "Is this about May ?Has something happened to her ?Is she alright ?"

Peter's eyes widened as well and he tried to calm Ned-who was totally panicking at the time-down.

"No ...No ..I mean yes ...I mean ...urghhh ...yes this is about May .."

And with that Ned covered his mouth and Peter immediately continued "But ..But she is alright ...It's just ..It's just ...."

Peter took a deep breath and finally said it ."She got fired from her job"

MJ and Ned both gasped . "I'm sorry "Ned said quickly

Peter shook his head and started to talk once again"Uh...It's just we are not in a good situation now....I mean about the money and this kinda things and that's why...That's why I got a job"

Peter felt a weight has been taken off of his chest .He finally told somebody .And it felt really good to know that he wasn't on this alone anymore .Even tough his friends couldn't help him much about the money the comfort in their eyes made him feel loved once again .He was suddenly being hugged by MJ and it was really weird but peter didn't mind it and he actually liked it .

Ned was shooting different kind of questions- like "What ?" or "since when ?"or "where is it ?"or "does may know ?"-at him .And it would be annoying if it was any other time and anybody else .But it was Ned, his best friend and right now Peter felt o relieved that he answered them one by one .

And after a while he smiled wildly and this one was real .Because he didn't feel alone after a long time .He didn't feel like a ghost anymore .

 

Peter went home that night really happy .But once he saw his Aunt talking to someone in her phone with a serious- or more kindly disappointed- tone he felt anxious .Her aunt whispered a thank you and then hung up and then shook her head in frustration .Peter wasn't sure if it was a good time or not tot ell her but then he thought that he was starting his job tomorrow so he had to do it now .He took a deep breath and stepped in the living room.May looked up at him and Peter lost his control and got straight to the point without any preface .

"May we need to talk ..."

May shook her head and said "Peter actually this is not a good time ..."  
"But may it's important "

"Peter It's NOT a good time so please leave me ALONE"

May snapped suddenly and Peter flinched a little .His eye's widened and he took a step back .

May got back to herself and her eyes and voice softened as she said "honey...Darling I'm so sorry ..."

Peter shook his head and tried his best to smile "No...you ...you don't need to be sorry ....I understand .I shouldn't have bothered you like that ...uh ...It's fine...so I'm just gonna sleep right now ."

It was obvious that it didn't fool May but she nodded slowly and Peter got himself to his room .As soon as he closed the door He fell to the floor .He hated how tears filled his eyes within a minuet .He covered his mouth so he won't sob cause he really felt like sobbing .All of his happiness was gone now .It was all replaced by sorrow and anxiety .Maybe May was thinking of the same thing Mr.stark thought before he left Peter .Maybe he was starting to see how ---he didn't even know what he was anymore. HE didn't know what he had that made everyone run away and he didn't even wanted to think about it.May was hurting herself but she was going to let Peter work any way and that would just hurt her more .And Peter wouldn't want that ,Not by a chance .But...May was mad at him today .What if she hates him next time ?He felt like a ghost again.

Peter got up weakly and threw him self at his bed .He put his head in the pillow and cried slowly .  
But then he heard it again .

"Ghoooost"

And this time it was more obvious that Peter was sure it wasn't a hallucination anymore .So he immediately got himself together and looked up at his window but what he saw cut his breath and stopped his heart .

He stayed frozen in his spot .Looking at the window and the letter which was written on it with red color :

 

"HELLO SPIDER GHOST "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well .So.... as you can see, Peter didn't tell May about the job in this chapter .But I need your opinions for the others .Do you think Peter should let her know about the job or not?  
> If he tells her he will of course feel a lot better but if he doesn't it's gonna bring more whump in the future   
> And honestly I want both of them in my work so I'm asking you about this .SO pleasepleasepleaseplease let me know what you think.  
> Also Cafe teen is the name of one of the cafes in my city so it inspired me about the name but they have nothing to do with each other beside of that .  
>  I am still working on improving my English .So some parts might not be explained well, I'm sorry about it and if you think there is anything I need to fix in my writings let me know .  
> Thanks for reading I hope you liked it *-*


	4. Say something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tone finally has the chance to make it up to Peter.   
> He mess it up, bad, really really bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone... So finally some Tony in this chapter. Actually more than some. All of this chapter includes Tony.   
> I tried my best to fix my mistakes in this chapter. But still, let me know if There's something wrong.  
> And I decided (With the help and suggestion of one of the readers) that Peter is not gonna let May know about his job. This chapter was a little hard for me to write (I listened to all of the sad and emotional songs in my playlist while writing this chapter), but I hope you'll like it.

"Not a ghost "

Peter stood there motionless. He was scared as hell, but he couldn't bring himself to move. So he just froze, staring at his window, scared and confused. 

"HELLO SPIDER GHOST"

The word 'ghost' made him want to yell. It wasn't hallucinating.It couldn't be, Because it was written on his window with big words now. Peter blinked. And blinked again,and again, and again. Like it could change what he was seeing. But the words stayed there. Was he supposed to be glad that he wasn't insane? Because that definitely wasn't what he felt. 

That couldn't be right. It didn't make any sense to him. But...what if it was right? What if someone really has been calling him 'ghost' when he felt like one? What if someone was really chasing him.

Then he started to panic. Because he was called 'ghost' both as spiderman and Peter Parker. Also the letter on the window...It was on Peter Parker's window but the word 'Spider ghost'...that meant...

"Oh god"

Peter gasped.They knew his identity. Theyknewthetknewtheyknewtheyknew...

Peter was totally freaking out now, and he couldn't think anymore. So he did the only thing that he could. He walked away. May must be in her bed trying to sleep by now. But Peter didn't really think about it. He felt like he couldn't breath anymore so he got out of the house by his window. Well...He did it a lot since he became spiderman. 

It was raining again. These days, it has been raining a lot. That just made everything look worse to Peter. Gladly, he didn't change his clothes after he got back home, because if he did, he would have been a lot more wet, than he was now in that kind of weather. He didn't really mind it tough; He didn't even know what he was doing or where he was going. He was just jugging in the streets and he didn't even think about where he was going. Even tough he didn't really has somewhere to go he felt like he was going somewhere special, It seemed like his brain was able to find it's way through the night without letting Peter know.

And in a blink of an eye he got himself together and looked at his surrounding, and found himself outside of the compound. How did he get here? He wasn't even thinking about getting here. 

But wasn't he? Deep down he knew that he wanted to be with Tony right now more than anything. He couldn't take it anymore. At first he felt tired because all of the pressure and then he felt sad about what happened between him and Aunt May and then he felt anxious after reminding himself of the whole ghost thing. But right now, he was more mad than anything...Yeah he was. He was mad at Tony.

He kept on blaming himself because of everything that happened between him and Tony. He kept on trying to find his mistake...But right now, standind in front of the tower, rain pouring down, all of his problems falling on him and crashing him down, he felt angry. Was that really his fault? 

He allowed to feel like the right one. Why should Tony suddenly turn into a stranger from the nice father he was being for Peter? Even if Peter had done something and was the person to be blamed, couldn't Tony at least give him a reason for putting distance? Peter tried his best in this whole time. He deserved a good explanation at least.   
Tony couldn't make Peter feel loved and then leave him behind without looking back. 

Peter was going to end this shit. Now.

 

So he entered the tower.

 

Tony was getting out of his lab when suddenly FRIDAY notified him of Peter's arrival. He wasn't sure if he was hearing right. Peter? Means Peter Parker? The kid he kicked out of his life weeks ago? The same Peter that his thought has been driving Tony insane all this time? The reason that he realized guilt must be known as a physical illness in public? That couldn't be the case, Peter couldn't be there.

Tony changed his mind when suddenly a wet-as-hell teenage boy appeared in front of him with the eyes- which were something between tired and scared and sad and mad. Tony's eyes widened at the sight of Peter. The kid was in every part of his life weeks ago but now... He wasn't expecting to see the kid so suddenly. Even if he did, he didn't expect to see him that wet. 

What was he doing here in that time? Was he alright? Has something bad happened? Was he hallucinating right now? Why did Peter looked so lost? And WHY was he that wet? Was it raining outside?

Those were the first thoughts to come their way to Tony's mind by the moment he saw Peter. But just one of them found it's way to his mouth.

"What are you doing here?"

It sounded rude and cruel.

Peter stared at him for a moment. The silence was awkward. Nothing could be heard. No one was there beside of those two. Then Peter whispered something, his voice was broken and hurt and his voice was really low, but the silence made it easy for Tony to hear it.

"Why?"

For some reason Tony knew how this was gonna end, it was no good. He reminded himself of the promise he made to himself .He needed to keep Peter safe. He needed to keep Peter as far as possible, He had to do it in any way he could.  
God it really wasn't gonna end well.

 

 

Peter looked at Mr.stark. He forgot about all of his anger for a moment when he saw Mr.Stark. even tough he was mad at him, It was a relieve for Peter to see him after all if this time. Peter really wanted to hug Tony -no matter how childish it was- and let Tony hold him firmly in his arms and make him feel safe and warm. But then the anger came back when Mr.stark talked .

"What are you doing here?"

REALLY? That was the best thing he could ask. Peter thought for a moment. But actually...It made sense. Mr.stark had just got out of his lab, and suddenly there was someone in front of him that he hasn't seen in the last few weeks (And probably wouldn't want to see in the few next weeks). It must be the biggest question for Mr.stark at the moment.

But Peter didn't care.He wasn't even thinking about the 'ghost' thing. Because once he saw Mr.stark he forgot about everything. He just wanted to ask his own questions. So he ignored Mr.stark's question and thought about all of the questions he has been trying to answer by his own in this few weeks.Why has Mr.stark changed so suddenly? Why he changed after the shooting? Why he didn't visit him in the medbay? Why he never texted him back? Why he never answered his calls? Why couldn't he make everything clear for Peter? Why he didn't want to see Peter anymore? Why Happy didn't either? Or Bruce? Or Rhodey? Why couldn't Peter just get back to normal? Why couldn't Peter feel happy again? Why was everything so hard after Mr.stark's disappearance? Why everyone turned their back on Peter? 

All of his questions gathered in one word. So he asked it .

"Why?"

He didn't intend his voice to sound so broken and weak but he couldn't help it. Right now he didn't care about anything. Nothing mattered right now. He just wanted to know. He just wanted to know why every one kept on leaving him...  
He just wanted to know why he was never enough.

All of the fear was gone. In fact all of his feelings- even the anger- has faded away. He just wanted to know. Because he didn't want to think again. He was sick of feeling of being ignored. And then thinking endlessly for his mistakes. And trying to be better. He was sick of trying. Struggling to handle everything. Struggling to make the others stay. Fighting to be his best. And after all, he was never success. It was always something he failed . It was always someone to make him feel worthless. He just never thought that person would be Mr.Stark. He could never do it well. And he was tired of all of this. He didn't wanna try or think or struggle or be the good one anymore. He just wanted to get away from all of this. He just wanted to know.

So he rose his head up. Tears in his eyes. He asked again. And this time he wasn't embarrassed of his broken voice.

"Why?"

Mr.Stark looked at him. He opened his mouth to say something but then closed it again. He looked at the floor and then tried to avoid Peter's question.

"WHAT are you doing here?"

Peter wanted to laugh. Hell no, He wasn't going to let this end as Tony wanted. Because Tony didn't want to answer him for sure, and Peter wanted his answer. He was here now, and he could never find the dare to do all of this again. He had to do it now. It had to end here. 

Tony tried to avoid Peter again. He pinched the bridge of his nose and then looked at Peter with tired eyes. He then said "Look kid...I don't know what you want in here' but right now I've got too much to do. So you can get to happy if you need anything..."

The anger was coming back again. So now he was too busy to even see Peter. He didn't want to hear these. He interrupted.

"Why?"

Tony stopped talking and looked at him. Peter stared back with his eyes filled with tears. He tried his best to control the sob that was chocking him and wanted to break, because of all the pressure. He tried his best to look brave. 

"Why should I talk to Happy, when you are right here?"

Tony was still staring at him speechless. He wasn't sure how Peter wanted to get to his point in this way, so he didn't know what he had to say. And it wasn't like Peter wanted to hear anything. Because Peter kept on talking. 

"Well....I used to talk to you very often. Why can't I do it now? huh?"

"Kid?"

" No. Why can't I talk to you now? huh? Because you are busy right now? What about yesterday? You were busy back there too?"

Tony wanted to talk this time. Because Peter was just asking right now. But what if he wanted the answer? Well...Tony didn't have one. Peter wasn't going to let him talk tough.

"Kid stop it...."

"Oh. And you were busy all the time I texted you or called you? And Happy must have been busy all the time too, right? To cut it short everyone has been busy these few weeks..."

The last sentence was more of a statement than a question. The anger was growing with every word so was his voice. It was like he was letting his demons out.

But then he looked at Mr.Stark's wide eyes and realized all he wanted was his father back. And he just couldn't get why he couldn't. Then he broke.

"Why Mr.stark? Why don't you wanna see me any more? PLEASE Mr.Stark,please just tell me what have I done to make you leave?"

Peter said between his tears with a weak voice. He felt a weight was taken away from his chest. He finally said it. he was finally going to find out.

Tony felt otherwise. The kid thought that he has done something that made Tony leave. All this time, the kid was blaming himself for what Tony has done. His heart was being shattered with every tears that slipped from his kid's face. His kid's face. The thing that he was dying to see currently. And now it was right there. But not the happy face with the biggest smile of the world on it. It was a face full of sadness and lonely. Eyes puffy and red, searching for his father figure and begging him for comfort. Begging him to hold him. Begging Tony to love him. It was what Tony has done to Peter. First, an airport was dropped on him because of Tony's stupid fight, Then a building was dropped on him and he had to deal with a plane crash and a mad vulture because Tony was too busy with his pretty ass that he didn't have time to listen to the kid, Then he was shot because Tony was so dangerous to be close to someone, then he was crying his eyes out because Tony was cruel and had left him without one word.

Yeah, that was the price Peter was paying for loving Tony as a father.

Tony couldn't protect Peter. He just kept on hurting and breaking the bright kid Peter once was. Tony needed to make Peter go. Peter needed to learn that he was just going to be harmed by being on Tony's side. How hasn't he learned it by now? Hasn't he had enough? 

"Kid...."

Tony took a breath. He needed to do this. The kid needed to go.And never come back to Tony.

"I...."

Peter looked at him with his eyes full of hope. And it made it much harder for Tony to say what he wanted to. He just wanted to hug his kid and feel the relieve and peace he couldn't find when Peter wasn't there. The kid wanted Tony to come back again. But Tony was just going to hurt him more. But he had to do it. For Peter.

(I loved you)  
"I didn't want to see you"

 

Tony wanted to close his eyes so he couldn't see Peter's reaction. But he had to stare at him in the eyes and make him believe. And he felt his world destroyed as did the hope in Peter's eyes. He guessed he could never forget Peter's face as Tony told him that. His eyes widened in shock and All of the hope in his eyes died and an endless sadness replaced it quickly. His face fell, Peter pushed his lips so hard to each other that it's color turned to white. A single tear slipped down his cheek. He opened his mouth.

"wha..."

(And I love you even more now)  
"And I still don't want to see you"

 

Another tear. Another part of Peter's heart broke.

(I'm so sorry)  
"I don't want you in my life"

 

Another tear. And one more. And one more. And one more. And one more.

(You were the best thing in my life)  
"I never wanted you in my life."

 

Peter felt like he was stabbed in the chest. His world was falling apart. 

Tony felt like he was stabbing Peter in the chest(He was). His world was falling apart.

(You still are the best thing for me and I want you back,SO SO badly)  
"So please leave because I don't want to see you"

 

And with that Tony started to leave, because he couldn't hear his own damn words and see Peter's broken face anymore. But before he could leave, Peter took his hand from behind him. Tony was glad Peter didn't turn him back because he couldn't hold the tears that were filling his eyes.

Peter managed to get his broken word out of his mouth between his cries. 

"I saw you as my dad."

Tony's heart sank.

(And I saw you as my son)  
"You were wrong"

Then he left.

 

 

Peter couldn't feel anything but pain. The pain was blinding. It was tearing apart.Peter couldn't handle what he heard. 

He stood up weakly from the spot he has fallen the moment Mr.stark left. His mind was going crazy, but he didn't want to think anymore. It was all done.  
He was all done.

He stumbled as he got out of the tower. He couldn't help but looked back. Hoping, Wishing, praying to see Mr.stark running towards him. Apologizing and saying he was lying moments ago. But Mr.Stark wasn't there. And then Peter remembered what he told him.

[I never wanted you in my life]

Mr.Stark didn't want Peter in his life. What has Peter thought?

He started to leave. It was still raining. But Peter didn't feel cold anymore. all he could feel was the pain.  
As the pain kept on pouring down on him he remembered a song. 

'Say something I'm giving up on you'

 

Tony closed the door of his room behind him. He fell to the ground and sobbed.  
'I'm sorry I couldn't get to you.'

Peter looked around him. No one was there . He finally allowed himself to fall to the ground and then he started to sob.  
'Any where I would have fallowed you'

 

Peter entered the house. It was dark and silent. His aunt was asleep. He went to his bedroom. Ignoring the water dripping from all of his body.He closed his door   
.Then he realized the black spots on his vision and suddenly his head started to pound and it became so hard for him to stand.  
He got himself to his bed and by the time he reached to his bed he started to fall.  
His last thought was the song.

'Say something I'm giving up on you   
Say something.....'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if that wasn't what you expected. Tony's stupid behavior will be discussed more in the next chapter. Also the name of this chapter was inspired by the song "Say something" by "A great big world".   
> So thank you all for reading, have a great time


	5. Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony finally decides that what's the right thing to do it, and he is going to do it.  
> Except he can't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone. Thanks for the comments and kudos. They really make my day.  
> It's been a week since the last update. Sorry it took long to update this one, but this week really I have been super-busy, so sorry:(  
> But good news, the big event finally happens. I hope you'll like it

In the movies, usually when someone faints, all the people that care about him surround him, and scream his name,and put him in a comfortable position while looking at him worriedly, until he wakes up and they smile and breath in relieve and tell him how much he scared them. 

But that's not exactly what happened to Peter when he fainted. When he woke up, he expected to see his aunt looking at him with concerned eyes, but the only thing he saw was the ceiling of his bedroom.

Nobody was there. No one was relieved to see that he was alright. Her aunt wasn't covering her mouth and saying that Peter scared her to death. Peter shook his head. He didn't want to think about it. His head was spinning. He tried to remember what has happened. When he did, he wished he hasn't.

All of the events of the night before repeated in his head, and he wanted to rip his brain out of his head. The pain was back. The wight on his chest. The voices of Mr.stark playing in his mind. The sob he still wanted to let out but couldn't. The sorrow he was trying to swallow. The thoughts that were killing him. The he remembered the 'ghost' thing. He immediately looked at his window. 

And it was nothing on it.

Peter didn't know what to feel or think or do anymore.

And to his own surprise, he started to laugh. It was so stupid. Not from happiness or sadness. He didn't want to quite his feelings anymore, but he also didn't want to cry. He as done it a lot recently and he was sick of his own tears. So he laughed and remembered every single thing that made him sad in his life. And with every memory he laughed harder.  
He remembered the toy he really wanted to have but his father didn't buy it. He remembered the mean teacher in his first grade that complained about his drawing , even tough he spent all night drawing it. He remembered when he came to his mom for comfort and showed her the drawing. It was three of them standing outside of their house and smiling wildly, and his aunt and uncle were with them too,and they were happy. He always wanted his aunt and uncle to live with them. And with that drawing he was kinda suggesting the idea to his mother. But her mother was busy and told him that she couldn't talk at the moment. His parents were always busy and they never could spend a lot of time with Peter. He remembered how suddenly he got mad and shouted at his mother and it how it upset his mother. They never made up. His parents went on some stupid work mission and never got back. He remembered the tears in his aunt's eyes and the apologetic look his uncle was giving him when they said his parents will never come back again. He never said sorry to his mother. After that Peter tried hid best to never argue with someone. To never shout at someone.

Peter laughed louder.

He remembered how sad he got when one of his classmates broke the little car his uncle bought him for his birthday. He remembered his first fight when someone was laughing at him for his parent's death. He was mad at his uncle and aunt for being mad at him after the fight. He remembered how embarrassed he was, when flash made fun of him for the first time in high school. He called him weak, dork, nerd, baby, weak, weak, and weak. And he was embarrassed because he was weak. He could never stand for himself. He could never make people respect him and love him. No one ever saw him or heard his voice or paid attention to him, beside of Ned and his aunt and uncle. And that's why he was so jealous when Ned was talking to a boy from the class that year. The boy was cooler and stronger and more popular, so he couldn't help but got jealous, even tough he later understood that it was nothing more that Ned asking him a question about one of the exams.

Then he remember Ben's death and he laughed harder and louder, trying to get rid of the unwanted tears filling his eyes . He remembered how broken and lost and alone and guilty he felt after his death. The second father he got killed.

And then there was Mr.stark. One day going back to home and seeing the one that was your idol in your whole life; sitting on your coach, talking to your aunt: talking to your aunt about YOU. It was like a dream for Peter. Seeing the Iron man. The great Tony stark. The one he always believed in, no matter how the others thought of him. He felt scared when he fought the vulture, He felt sad when Liz left, but he didn't feel alone at least, because he found himself looking up at his mentor as a dad. He laughed harder and more tears filled his eyes, when he thought that all this time Mr.stark never wanted him. 

Then he remembered how Mr.stark left him alone. He remembered how alone he felt. How disappointed he felt after letting his third father down. He remembered how anxious he felt all the time after finding about May's job. And how scared he was about the ghost thing. He remembered everything about the 'ghost' story. All of those things weren't real, and even if they were he didn't really care. 

He cared about nothing no more. He was numb and careless about everything after remembering his talk with Mr.Stark. It really crushed his world and he didn't really care about what was left from the storm in his heart. 

He knew that it would pass. That it would turn to some old memorize. But he didn't want it to pass. He didn't want to think that all this time he was a burden to Mr.stark . He didn't want Mr.stark to pass. He hated that the only thing he could do was to wait for time to heal his shattered heart. He didn't want his only hope to be thinking that it would go away. He didn't want any of this. He wanted to fade away from this world. He wanted to just disappear.

He laughed and laughed until it turned to cried and then sobs. He stumbled and fell from the edge of his bed. He leaned to his bed from the ground and put his face in hands and sobbed. He let all his demons out. 

And then when it was no tears left for him to cry. He slowly stood up and tried to wipe up his his tears with his sleeve. It was really odd that his aunt hasn't shown up in his room yet. 

He got out of his bed and went to kitchen. May wasn't there. He was heading to her bedroom to see if she was okay, but before he could, he saw a note on the table. 

Oh, so May must be out. he read the note

"Hi honey, I think I found some job in a hospital, so I'm going there to see if they can give me anything. See you in the after noon. Bye"

Peter smiled. The word 'honey' was making him feel better. So aunt May still loved him. And now that he was done with crying he was kinda embarrassed and he was glad that his aunt wasn't there to find out about what happened. 

He sighed. He needed to forget about last night. He needed to focus. Because as much as Peter wanted it to, the world hasn't ended. He had to keep on going.

 

 

Tony stark looked at the suit. The Iron spider suit. He couldn't sleep for a moment last night and he didn't mind it, he didn't deserve to sleep, Not after what he had done to Peter. He couldn't forget Peter's face as he said those horrible things to him. He couldn't believe his own words. He hated himself and he needed to talk to somebody and there was nobody he could tell these thing about. Pepper was in a meeting and Rhodey wasn't at the tower, and even tough Bruce was, he couldn't bring himself to talk about all the things he had done to Peter to Bruce. ( and if he got mad Tony wasn't really in the mood of dealing with a big green guy). So he decided to talk to the spider suit. It was the closest thing he had to Peter and at least Tony would feel like he was talking to Peter and that he could finally tell him how he truly felt. So he stood there and looked at the suit and remembered the day that he offered Peter a place between the avengers. The kid was really a good one. well, before Tony destroyed it. It was a really awkward moment. Why was he nervous about talking to a suit?

He let out a shaky breath and said"....umm....uh...." 

Then he sighed and tried again:"well, ..um..since you're a suit we don't need the chit chat part in here, so I'll get straight to the point."

He opened his mouth and tried to say it, but he found it very hard. He couldn't even apologize to a thing that wasn't even alive. He then again remembered last night. Peter's tears as Tony spit out those shits to him. He didn't realize his own tear running down his cheek. 

He really needed to let it out. He as been keeping it to himself for so long that he couldn't take it anymore. He needed somebody to be there fr him and to listen to him, even if that was a lifeless suit. So he started to talk, and once he did, he couldn't stop.

"I'm sorry Peter. I'm sorry but I needed to do it. Because it hurt like hell. It hurt like hell to see you fall to the ground and bleed out in front of me. And the worst part was that you've done that for me. You almost got killed because of me. I'm Iron man and this kind of things might happen to me a lot. And you were gonna do it for me every time. You would get killed. You would get killed if I kept you close to me and Peter I can't ...no chance in hell ..I can't stand you getting hurt. I can't live thinking that you has died for me. I'm sorry Peter ...I was really cruel last night and the things I told you...They were horrible but I had to say them... Because god you were wasting yourself on me. You have an amazing brain, a great aunt, great friends and a big bright heart and you were wasting it on me and you could have died and left all of them behind just because of me...I wasn't worth it ...You were being a good son but I couldn't be a father to you...you needed to let go and you weren't, so I made you do it and I don't think I can be whole again ever without you but I had to do it because of you but I'm still so sorry."

Tony was crying now. Because he for sure wasn't gonna be whole ever again because everything seemed easy and simple when his kid was there. Whatever that happened he always knew that he wasn't alone but now...his only light was gone and he felt so lost. Just like when his mother died. 

" For Peter..."

Tony wasn't expecting to hear Bruce's voice from behind and it scared him a little Since when was he there? How much did he heard? Has he heard Toby crying?

He immediately wiped the tears off his face and turn to see Bruce behind him. His face was so calm and wasn't displaying any sight of anger on his face...and this wasn't a good sign because Tony knew that this calm face was hiding back a storm. He guessed Bruce heard a lot of what he has said. 

Bruce continued what he was saying".....Or you did it for yourself?"

Tony was confused. What was Bruce talking about? If he heard what Tony said, what kind of questions was that?

He made a serious face and looked away from Bruce and said " I don't know what you're talking about..."

Bruce laughed anxiously " Oh...hell you do...Don't pretend you don't...So you said bad things to Peter right?"

Tony was trying to figure put what to say but he couldn't. The silence was awkward enough to give Bruce the answer he wanted so he continued.

" Yes. You did. But you did it for Peter..."

In here, Bruce shook his head and said " Don't think so"

That was touching a nerve.

"WHAT the hell are you talking about? you know nothing"

" But I do"

" NO YOU DON'T" 

Tony lost his control himself and snapped.

"SO ENLIGHTEN ME YOUR HIGHNESS"

Bruce shouted back.

Tony tried to stay calm so he let out a deep breath and said carefully:

"I needed to make him leave my side because he was getting hurt"

"Not a good excuse"

Tony wasn't in a good mood to start with, and now it was making him more and more angry. It was somewhere for Tony to let his demons out. He looked straight in Bruce's eyes and said:

" Don't you get it Bruce? If he stayed by my side anymore he was gonna get hurt. I said those things to keep him SAFE"

Bruce was getting angry too. H e started to yell at Tony once again

"NO YOU DIDN'T. You did it because of YOURSELF. You did it so you wouldn't feel guilty anymore."

"Bruce that's BULLSHIT. HE WAS FUCKING SHOT BECAUSE OF ME. HE WAS GONNA GET HURT IN THE FUTURE BECAUSE OF ME. I NEEDED TO KEEP HIM SAFE"

"FACE THE REALITY TONY"

This time his voice was a lot louder and he looked at Tony with angry eyes which made Tony shut his mouth, Bruce didn't, tough.

"You never tried for something beside of those stupid stuff you make. Everybody always love you with every cost and you never make afford to show them how you feel. Because you don't need to. Because the others has to understand that you love them their selves, Right? I get that you are not good with emotional things but that's the point.. If you love somebody you need to do things for that person that is hard for you do. You need to show them that you love them, even if that's hard for you to. Because they don't want your money, unlike the others ...they want your love and if you don't give it to them what is he difference between the person you love and the one that don't? You need to try ..."

Then Bruce laughed anxiously and continued" But no... you wouldn't do that. Because you are the great Tony Stark and it's not your job to try to get to someone. I'm not saying you needed to change yourself, because you didn't need to change anything. Because it was obvious that you cared for the kid and you just needed to show it to him by staying with him. But when he woke up after being shot you saw how much he needed your comfort. Yo saw it and that scared the shit out of you, and made you run away. Because he was a kid who just wanted his dad. Finally someone was in need of your emotional support and you prefer to run away than stay with him and pass this through with him....and don't even say that he was hurt because of you... DON'T ACT LIKE AN IDIOT. He was willing to lose his life just to keep you safe and that meant he LOVES YOU SO MUCH. It meant that you mattered to him more than his life. So do you really think that leaving him would hurt any less than getting shot?"

Bruce finally stopped and breathed. He didn't know how much he needed air until he stopped talking. He looked at Tony.  
Tony was shock. Not because his friend just crushed him seconds ago. Because every single word that his friend said was true and all this time Tony was pretending that it wasn't his reasons. He didn't want to believe the reason he was acting like that, was that he was scared or confused or guilty but now Bruce was destroying the house of the lies Tony made to feel safe and sound. Tony was crying slowly again.

Bruce's eyes softened and he looked at his friend sympathetically as the realization hit him. He whispered " I'm sorry"

And with that he left Tony to continue crying.  
Then FRIDAY got him back to reality. 'Boss you have a massage from Peter Parker.'

Tony's eyes went wide. Peter...has texted him?..After what happened last night?

Tony smiled. Maybe this was a sign...Maybe it wasn't late to make everything right. Maybe he could make it up to Peter. 

He quickly reached his phone and unlocked it. He stared at what Peter texted him.

'Mr.stark'

Tony smiled...yeah...It wasn't late yet....

Another text.

'That's what he called you, right?'

Tony narrowed his eyes at that. What was that supposed to mean?

Another text.

'Guess you're not gonna hear him call you that ever again'

Before Tony could progress it in his head a photo was sent to him.

A photo which made his heart sank, his tear fall, his world crash down on him. and his legs go weak below him.

It was a pictured of Peter, on the ground, with a bloodied face and a big bruise in it and his hand cuffed with some kind of metal cuff and chins behind his back.  
...Or maybe it was a little late

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna update a short chapter; explaining how Peter ended up in this situation. Hopefully I'll update it soon ;)  
> Sooo... what do you think about this chapter and the whole story? Let me know in the comments  
> Thanks for reading


	6. Fights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He used to try to destroy the hate inside of him. But now he was angry with all of his body and ...it made him feel alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was supposed to be short and I was supposed to post it sooner...well neither of them happened.  
> Actually I wrote this just a day after the last chapter, and when i started to write it I just couldn't stop, so it was done long ago but i just couldn't find the time to edit it between all of the exams we had this week.  
> So I didn't really enjoyed the fifth chapter, i don't know it just wasn't what i wanted it to be, but I like this chapter myself and I hope you'll like it too.

Previously:  
[It was a pictured of Peter, on the ground, with a bloodied face and a big bruise on it, his hand cuffed with some kind of metal behind his back.  
...Or maybe it was a little late]

 

Two hours earlier:  
Peter was leaving the school, and to be honest; he was really glad about it, because he didn't know if he could hide his closed eyes from the teachers anymore - so they wouldn't understand that he was taking a nap during all of the classes- He was really tired.

So yeah...he was going to leave the school, but before he could, Flash appeared out of nowhere in his way, with his squad behind him. The grin on his face meant that he was going to do something really bad: and he always did the really bad things to Peter.

Peter wasn't glad anymore. Right now he couldn't deal with this kinda things. He looked around himself to see if it was any chance of escaping.With the crowd gathering around them, waiting to see that day's adventure, the only way of getting away was to pass through Flash's gang. Flying his way out of the school was more possible than this option. 

Flash stepped closer to Peter. The other students were joining the crowd and looking at the scene from somewhere far enough to not get involved in the fight -which they know Flash was going to make

Flash finally started to talk, while looking at his shoes and robbing the back of his head. 

"So...how is the Stark intership going?"

Peter flinched at the name of 'Stark'.Then he sighed. So this was the case...Again. He was about to say that the intership was over, but Flash was quicker than him.

"Oh...Let me guess...It's not going so well."

In here, he stepped closer to Peter and asked" Do you want me to tell you how I guessed? Huh?"

He then shouted while looking at the crowd of students. 

"Because there wasn't an intership at first place"

Peter looked at Flash and his gang deadpanned. With the way Flash was acting, he thought that he had something new.

He said" Was that the best you've got? Seriously man... you need to update yourself. I think all of us are memorize this sentence by now."

Some af student laughed, but then stopped with Flash's dead glare. He looked at Peter again and said" Well...the difference is that I have a proof this time."

Peter looked at him curiously. That scared him a little. At least he didn't want to sleep anymore .He could hear student's whispers:

'what is he talking about?'

'A proof? What can it be?'

'So it was really a lie? man I believed that'

'That's because you're so simple...I've never believed the intership'

Peter tried to act like he didn't care. He said" Care to share?"

Flash's smile widened and he said "With pleasure."

Then Flash unlocked his phone and after some seconds, he showed a video to Peter. 

Peter's blood ran cold. How did he have this?

Flash then said" Every body shut up for a second if you wanna know what this is "

Flash's threat seemed to work, because everybody went silent suddenly. Flash turned up the voice and showed his phone to the others. Some of students in the back of the crowd were jumping to see what it was. It was a video taken from Peter talking outside of the cafe with Jake. They were talking about the job and Jake telling Peter to talk about it with May. 

When the video was over, students didn't waste a second to share their comments about it with each other.

Peter looked at his shoes and blushed. Thanks to his super hearing he could hear every body talking about him. Saying bad things.

Flash tough was completely satisfied with what he has done and was smiling. He then began talking again.

"As you could see, Peter has a job which he didn't even tell his dear aunt about. And his job...."

He showed a picture of Peter, which was taken from outside of the cafe. Showing Peter and Mr.smith. 

"Happens to be in a cafe instead of the Stark tower....Or maybe he has the job in the Stark tower."

He looked at Peter- who was still looking down- and said" He could be a chef in there"

Students started to laugh at this. Someone from behind Peter shouted" The only thing he can do in the Stark tower is to turn the coffee maker on and go home after.   
How much do they pay you for that Parker?"

Students laughed even harder. Peter clenched his teeth and fist his hands. 

" Huh...poor Peter working all day to bring some bread to feed his aunt with. So bad he doesn't have a dad to do take care of this. I don't blame his parents, tough. Neither his uncle...They realized what kind of loser and burden he was and they decided that death would be the best way to get away from this bastard. His aunt was slow to get that, tough. She would leave him too soon when she realize it. Or maybe she won't, after all Peter bring money to home...."

Peter pushed his nail deeper in his hands. He couldn't hear what Flash was saying anymore. He could feel the adrenalin creasing inside him. He wanted to punch Flash on the face, so so much. And he started to think why shouldn't he? He wasn't that weak kid anymore. Hell he was a lot stronger than Flash. The only thing that stopped him from hitting Flash every time, was the thought of doing the good thing, but all of those times wasn't enough to make the others want him.   
He remembered Mr.stark's words once again " I don't want you in my life"

In this case , Flash was the bad guy. Peter was supposed to take down the bad guys. And he was strong enough to do it now. so why shouldn't he?

He whispered" Shut up"

Flash turned around to see him and said "Did you say something, penis?"

Peter looked up finally and shouted "I said shut up you jerk"

Flash looked at him. Totally shocked.Another wave of silence was made between the students. Not expecting Peter to talk back like that,to Flash specially...Peter was enjoying the disbelief.

Flash finally broke the silence by laughing. Than he said " OHhh..So finally Penis Parker dared to talk"

Then he glared at Peter and said" And he is gonna regret it"

" Make me"  
Peter said with a firm voice.

Peter was having a good time watching Flash's eyes widening, well...he was before his spidey sense went off and the next thing he saw was Flash's fist coming towards his face. Peter must have made him really angry, because it really hurts. his head turned around and Peter couldn't see Flash's face anymore. He just could hear his voice saying" I just did what you asked me"

The anger and hate was growing every second.And Peter let the anger and hate fill his body and take control of him. He used to try to destroy the hate. But now he was angry with all of his body and it made him feel alive. He wasn't just mad at Flash. He let himself be mad at everyone in the world. He let himself hate Mr.stark. He let him self blame Mr.Stark for everything. 

Flash started this, and Peter wasn't going to let him get away...no chance in hell. He was going to the thing that he never did. And it felt so good . Peter smiled.   
He turned back. Flash was making fun of Peter,his back to him. Peter smile's creased. That would be a lot of fun. 

He put his hand on Flash's shoulder and turned him to face him. Flash's eyes was wide when he looked at Peter with the grin on his face.

Peter punched as hard as he could.The only thing that broke the silence was the sound of Peter's fist hitting flash's face, and some of people gasping as it did. Flash was on the ground. He looked up at Peter, terrified and shocked with an opened mouth and wide eyes, his nose was bleeding .

Finally somebody moved. One of Flash's friend. He started to walk towards Peter. Probably planning to hit him. Flash's other friends started to move, too. The were a lot more than Peter. 

But suddenly some of the students gathered behind Peter. Peter smiled. There was a lot who hated Flash and his squad. If Peter was going to do it, they got his back.  
And then the fight began.

 

 

Peter never felt more alive. If no one cared about him, if he wasn't worthy to any one, if no one was going to stand for him, he wasn't dead yet. He was going to do it himself. Fight was really serious. Flash hurt a lot of students and they never did anything in return, including Peter himself. But when Peter did something to defend himself, the others stepped in. Everybody were keeping their anger in themselves so long, and now they were letting it out. And in the end of the fight Flash' gang were more hurt than the others. Everybody was satisfied with the results. 

Well... They were before the principal assistant stepped in. 

Half an hour later, Principals office was full of bloodied and bruised faces. 

Like the other students came to school to pick him up. After 15 minuets of apologizing and giving advises and blaming and getting angry, finally May and Peter left the school. Well...this wasn't exactly how Peter wanted to leave school that day; with dried blood on his fists, his nose and mouth and a big cut on his forehead.   
There was an awkward silence between them all h way to home. When they arrived at home, Peter was going to break the silence but May interrupted him. 

"May....I'm sorr...."

"So you got a job"

Peter froze. How did she know?  
"What? How do you kno..?"

May cut him off again with a firm voice.  
"Have you or not?"

Her eyes caught his and stared at him with terrifying eyes. May could be so scary sometimes. This was one of those times. She wanted her answer. And Peter didn't dare to not give her one. This was a lot more scary than the fight. He swallowed his saliva and whispered:"Yes"

May laughed and shook her head.

"Why ?"

Peter took a long breath in and said" You were trying so hard to take care of me. We needed money and I wasn't doing anything to help you. " 

"But why didn't tell me ?"  
"Because you wouldn't let me"  
"OF COURSE I WOULDN'T"

May snapped suddenly and that made Peter flinch a little. He looked at his aunt with tears in both his eyes and her eyes. Damn stupid tears, Peter thought. He was acting weak again. He whispered" I wanted to help you"

A tear slipped down from May's eyes. Her voice softened: " You hided the spider man thing from me , and I forgave you. I trusted you. I thought you wouldn't hide things from me again."

Then she went back to her serious form again and continued:

"But I was wrong...."

She looked at Peter with a hurt face and said her last sentence before leaving the house, and that last sentence broke Peter's heart.

"You broke my trust"

And with that she left the house, leaving Peter to stare at the closed door.

 

Peter didn't know if he was supposed to go to his work after the things that had happened, but he decided to go to cafe and at least talk to Mr.smith, may be they could decide what to do together. He didn't know if Jake told him about the fight or not.

When he arrived at the cafe, he called for Mr.smith. He welcomed him and Peter said that they needed to talk. Mr.smith guided him to a small room which was in the kitchen. He then told Peter that he was going to make some coffee, and left Peter to sit in one of the chairs. He looked at the room and then at the desk, and that was when a folder on the desk caught his attention. Because in the name of the folder was 'GHOST'. He felt his heart miss a beat. He slowly stood up and opened the folder hesitatingly. He gasped and froze in his place when he saw what was in it. 

It was photos of Peter and spider man in different places and positions. As he shuffled them, he felt his heart come to his mouth. He even saw a picture of himself outside of the tower, the night of his fight with Mr.stark. Then his spidey sense screamed at him to want him of a threat. He heard the door being locked. He knew he needed to do something quickly, but he just couldn't bring himself to move. He heard Mr.smith's voice.

"You made a mistake by coming in here, spider ghost"

Peter finally wanted to turn around, but before he could he felt a blinding pain in his head and the darkness immediately filled his vision.

And just like that he was knocked out, and when he woke up again, something was broken in his life; that wouldn't be whole anytime soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was it surprising? Well... it was for me. Because at first I wasn't planning to make Mr.smith the bad guy, but then an idea came to my mind which you are gonna see in the next chapters.   
> Also... I know that the fight thing with Flash might be a little cruel-ish, but I really think that you need to stand for yourself if needed. Because when you are alone or you feel like you are (in Peters case), it can make you feel worthy. When the world is against you, the only one you've got is yourself. I think people lose their fights when they give up on themselves. If you trust yourself, you can see how much the others care about you better.   
> So I think Peter did the right thing by fighting and that's why I liked this chapter.


	7. Author note

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a chapter (sorry), just a massage from me

So... hey everyone

I know it's been so long since I last updated, and you've got no idea how sorry I am. But I had a lot of exams and beside I haven't been in a good mental mood (just teenage stuff, I guess).

I had a good plan for how  
the next chapters, but everytime I tried to write it down I couldn't end it, and when I could; how I wrote it was just terrible.

I just wanted to let everyone -who are looking forward the next chapters -know that I AM going to continue this , I just neeb to pass this ridiculous situation and I will update the next chapter as soon as I can.

And thanks for the comments and kudos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again


	8. The last battle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He has changed"   
> "But it cost me my wife and my job and my whole life. And not just me..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really Really long time. I'm terribly sorry. But school has been kicking my ass really hard, and I had a lot on my mind. And I just couldn't bring myself to figure out a good way to keep this on. But I promised myself that I would end this because I really like it. But I had some changes on my writings plans. so here is the next chapter.

Tony Stark has been a lot of things in his life. When he was a kid, he used to be a kid who was not enough for his father. He had his mother's support, but when you don't have something, you'll do anything to reach it, sometimes you ignore all the things you have, just to get to what you don't. And that's he looked at his dad. Someone who was unreachable. And the more he failed, the more he wanted his consent. So he tried more and more, he did everything he could to be someone who his father was proud of. And he never succeed. At first he used to think that his father was doing this to make him try more. But as some time passed and Tony finally realized that his father was not just unreachable for him, but he was impossible. And the more he get to really know his father, he started to think that maybe it wasn't his way to show his love to his son. Maybe he really hated him. After all, there was no rule that a father should love his son. 

And then his parents died, and when they did, he really believed that his father didn't have to like him as everybody said. Because everybody said that no matter what kids do, no parent is capable of hating their kid. But they said the same about child. They used to say that Tony was supposed to respect his dad, because no matter how hard he was on Tony, he would miss him and regret being to cold to him if something happened to him.... 

But he wasn't. He wasn't sad about his father's death. He wasn't happy either...He was just numb. He didn't feel sorry for him. So maybe his father didn't have any feelings for Tony like father did. The only reason he was sad was because of his mother. His beautiful and kind and supportive mother. The only one he felt safe with.

After that he's been through a lot. Being kidnapped, being shot, becoming Ironman, almost losing his lover, dealing with avengers, then fighting with them as he realized his teammate was helping the murderer of his parents, realizing that your kid was hurt to protect you, and then pushing him away on purpose and hurting him by that...none of them were easy. But as said, the pain that doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. And to Tony's information, he wasn't dead yet.

So, after all of the things that has happened to him, he learned how to control his emotions while facing problems and do the best and most useful thing.

So when he saw that pictures of his kid, bloodied, bruised, and taken...TAKEN.....he ignored the images of a hurt alone Peter, the thoughts of the everything that could be happening to him right now...he ignored all of them. He pushed the rising feeling of anger and pain and concern and sadness aside, because he could deal with them later WHEN he brought Peter back, so he did the only thing that he could thought of: work. "FRIDAY, track the contact, find everything you can."

Peter was not wearing the suit in the pictures, hopefully he wasn't wearing it when they captured him -identity reveal could make everything worse at that point-. If they didn't know he was spiderman, that would help peter get out of the situation with no problem.

Whether they know about his identity or don't, he was sure that they wouldn't keep any of Peter's stuff to make sure they wouldn't get tracked. But Tony needed to check every tiny possibility. So he started to track Peter's suit. 

"FRIDAY, anything?"

"Sir, I was unable to hack through the contact. Also I couldn't find any location for the phone or any information about the owner of the phone"

Tony's heart started to beat faster. That couldn't be good. If FRIDAY couldn't hack through them then they must know what are they doing. And Tony hated it. He hated how someone else was taking control of the situation. The situation which his kid's life depended on.

"Then check all the footage and search for Peter or Spiderman in them, start from the places around queens."

"Boss, there is no footage of Peter after morning while he was going to school.

"Goddamit, they gotta be good at this."

When Tony was done tracking the suit, it lead to Peter's house, which meant that he could find no clue in this way, but it reminded Tony of something that was gonna be hard....

May.

Despite how clueless Tony was about Peter's situation and the way to tell May about it, he knew he had to. 

Beside, just in case she was in any kind of threat, he wanted to take her to the compound. He tired calling May but her phone was turned off so he got his suit and left the compound. Minutes later he was standing against Parker's door. Taking a deep breath, closing his eyes and rising his hand to buzz the ring. But before he could he heard a female voice behind her.

"Tony?"

May.

"May?"

He turned around to see her. She looked like the last time he saw her, only more tired and more sad. God, he missed her. He remember the days that they were like a family. He missed the happy days with Peter and May at the compound, laughing and not being afraid to care. The days that he didn't have too look at her with concerned eyes, worrying about how to tell her that his nephew was kidnapped because of him, that how many times his nephew was gonna get hurt because of him.

May looked at Tony's eyes and that scared her out of her mind. Because maybe they haven't seen each other in a long time but she knew the look in his eyes, and that look was only for the times that he was worried about Peter. 

" What has happened?"

She asked with a shaking voice

Tony opened his mouth and then closed it again. he then look around him and said:  
"I think we should go inside"

May's heart missed a beat. Now she was sure something was really wrong.

 

Peter woke up with a wave of pain in his head, which made him groan in pain as he opened his eyes. It was really dark that he couldn't see anything at first, but when his eyes got used to the dark, he could recognize that he was chained to a metal chair in a small room, and no one was there besides him. Weird thing was regardless what he thought by seeing all those movies, he remembered what has happened. The moment he closed his eyes, the pictures of the cafe and the sound of what Mr.Smith told him in there, flashed through his eyes. And he also remembered his fight with May. 

He tried to get rid of the chains that were keeping his hands and feet still in his chair, but he couldn't. And he didn't think it was the chains, because he felt so weak and his hand could barely move,so he assumed that he was injected with some drugs that made his powers weak. Well, it kind of made sense , because they knew he was spiderman, so they would probably do something to keep him weak. Unless they were just bored and wanted their asses kicked.

He tried to focus on his surrounding and search for some clues or maybe even someway to escape, well, it was hard to do it without his super vision. But there was nothing much to focus on. The only thing he got from looking was that he was in a wooden house, maybe a wooden hut or something. If only they didn't know about his identity...he would be out in a blink of an eye. 

There was no way out of the room beside the door left to Peter, which Peter could break if he could get up, but he couldn't, because he realized that he was weaker than he thought, as he tried to get up with the chair. And with that conclusion, he wasn't able to break the door even if he could stand up, for sure.

Before he could do any other research on the room he was being kept at, he head the door being unlocked, and then Mr. Smith stepped in with a torch in his hand, pointing it right at Peter's face- which make him turn his head around and close his eyes firmly.

" A little dark in here isn't it?"

Peter used his other spider power which could not be taken by drugs. 

"Yeah, man. You know, when I first saw the equipment, I mean the chains and drugs and the whole folder you made for me -which I really appreciate for having my own stalker fan, you know?- Well, I thought that you were gonna be better than these...But man there isn't even a lamp in here. I could buy you a guide to kidnap for dummies ' book when I get out of here. i mean if you want me to. You know reading is a regular useful habits in jails."

Well, he wasn't really in the mood of humor himself, first because he was really mad about how Mr.Smith deceived him and that he was behind all of the ghost thing. And second he knew that this was serious and he was totally messed up.

and the second reason was why he was being all funny at the first place. Because he was screwed, this whole thing was serious, but by using humor he could make his enemies think that with all the things they've done, Peter didn't take them seriously and that could make them think that something was wrong and usually when they think they're ding it wrong they screwed it up. 

But that didn't seem to work on Smith, because the impression on his face was still blank and calm. he stood in front of Peter and looked at him right in the eyes. And the look on his face was the look that Peter has never seen i the eyes of his enemies and it confused him. It was a mix of guilt and sadness and regret and the passion to....revenge. 

Yeah, that eyes couldn't be eyes of criminals without passion of revenge.

Mr.Smith started to talk with a soft voice. 

"Peter, I know what you're trying to do in here, but stop because it's not gonna work. Plus we don't have a lot of time to waste and \i really need to talk to you. First, none of this is your fault and god know how sorry I am for doing this to you. But, I'm sorry but you're not gonna make it out. And that's all because of that stupid Stark. He..."

He sighed in there and then continue, this time pain and anger in his voice. 

"I told you about my wife. She didn't die as I told you, she died in the aliens attack and Ironman couldn't save he..."

" It was NOT his fault, you know he can't save everybo..." Even if they had a fight, peter still couldn't bring himself to let someone talk about his fath....about Ironman in that way"

" I Know. And I didn't really blame him....until..." He sighed again. " I used to work for him, and I'm familiar with his technology and that's why he hasn't find us yet. i worked for him and I haven't been working a lot when my wife died. one night I got really drunk and I went to the tower and started to shout at him. Next day i woke up they notified me that I was fired. With her death and my situation, life became so hard for me and Jake. You have no idea what we've been through...and that's all because he was so blind with himself and his pride that he couldn't see what he was doing to little ones around him. And after years i finally found his weak spot: you. Me and the other families which were destroy because of him made this plan. the whole gunshot thing...it was all our plan to make distance between you two..so he was going to spend the rest of his life with guilt. We made sure that you see the one who was gonna shot stark. The one who shot...he died, but he knew he was gonna die but he was ready for it. the stark ruined his life as well that e had nothing left to live for...."

"But you do.." Peter finally talked. "You've got Jake."

"No one is gonna understand''

Peter thought about all the time he and Mr.Stark spent. He couldn't imagine Mr.stark like smith was telling him. so he whispered "He has changed"

Mr.Smith smiled a bit and looked at him and then said: "I know...I know he had..I've seen him with you."

His smile disappeared. "But it cost me my wife and my job and my whole life. And not just me..."  
He looked down at the ground and whispered a sorry as he started to leave the room, but Peter stopped him with his yells.

" You know even of you are right -which I doubt- even if you reasons are right...that doesn't make it okay to do it.....It doesn't make you innocent." Peter had tears in his eyes. He was scared.

Mr.smith turned back and said:" I know. But I'm not expecting to be forgave or to look innocent...I know that this is something that can't be excused...I'm doing this for Revenge"  
Ah he said the last sentence, Peter saw his eyes go darker and more evil. He asked the last thing.

" So why are you telling this to me?"

Mr.Smith said:" to let you know that I'm no t a criminal"

Peter looked at him with disgust. 

"You made it worse"

and with that Mr.smith left.

peter didn't know what he was gonna do but smith looked so sure that Peter doubt that he was gonna let him go. He didn't know how to feel. Hours ago, he thought nothing can make his life worth living...but now that he thought he was going to die...he didn't want to. Despite the way that he things when he last saw the ones he loved, he still didn't wanna leave. The thought that he wasn't gonna see may again and that he never told her that he was sorry ...and how she'd would feel guilty after his death and the thought that he has never got to make up with Mr.stark...He would miss them. Mr.Stark, May, Ned, MJ, Pepper, spiderman, even Bruce and Rhodey and Happy...

He heard something from outside. Sound of.............And he smelled smoke.Fire...

But maybe that was better like that. He hasn't done anything To May but damage since he became his son. And he for sure made mr.Stark disgusted with him, and he had nothing but trouble and danger for MJ and Ned. He let them all down. Maybe this was better this way. They would be better off without him.

Peter closed his eyes and held his breath as the smoke in the room became unbearable. Then he breathed and let himself cough. 

He was scared and he felt alone and abandoned and messed up...But maybe it would all go away. If he just sat there and don't fight it...

He fought with all the problems in his life, but now that he looked back it only made everything worse...so maybe if he didn't fight it, He could win this one battle of his life....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you think about Mr.Smith? thanks for reading...take care


End file.
